I was in a food court the other day, in line to fill up my cup at the fountain drink machine. The woman in front of me filled her cup up with ice and started to get her drink. So while she was filling her cup up with her drink, I decided to go ahead and fill my cup up with ice. Then, the woman shot me a dirty look. I started to think about how often this situation comes up, and I realized that I might be a fountain drink a**hole.
Was I out of line? Or was she unaware of drink machine protocol? This had to be answered, so we decided to come up with some parameters to derive when it is and when it is not okay to go ahead and start getting your drink at the self-serve drink machine.
Standing in line as the drinker-at-large, you have a few options. Do you watch the girl in front of you fill up her 32 ounce drink, give her some space, and glance at the crazy decor and funny sign on the wall? Or do you show everyone waiting in line behind you that you are a courteous drink machine participant, by stepping up to the plate? You can get your ice, grab some drink from an unused dispenser, or wait for her to finish filling up her cup with whatever sweet nectar you want.
The natural way to view this scenario is to compare it to the bank-teller line at your credit union or other establishment. You wait in line, then the lady calls, “Next!” and you walk up to an open teller to deposit your $20.00 birthday check from Aunt Eyra. If this were the standard for fountain drink etiquette, then you would wait for the person already up to the drink machine to step aside (a significant amount) while filling up his or her cup, essentially giving you the “it’s okay to stand next to me while I get a Coke” signal. But this analogy still leaves ambiguity, and forces one to make individual interpretations of the rule-of-thumb.
For a more clear comparison, we must go to the tried and true baseball analogy. In the above scenario, when the lady stepped up to the drink machine, she was at-bat. When she put the cup up to the ice dispenser she made contact to the ball. Then you, as the on-deck batter, watched to see how good of a hit she made. If she moves her cup toward the same drink you want, then she’s on first and you need to start walking up to the plate. You can make it a leisurely stroll, but you need to make some movement toward the machine. If you have eyed the selection of soda you want, and notice she starts filling up with the drink 2-3 spots away from that one, then we view this as a double and she is now on second base. You are now free to make contact with the ice machine, and hit a single toward the desired cola. She is not forced to move, so she can still stay at her spot semi-comfortably, still watching what you are doing to make sure you are not a creeper. If she goes all the way to the opposite side of the ice dispenser and you want a choice from the other far end, she has hit a triple, giving you room to run. Feel free to go up to the plate with confidence, make solid contact, and take your base–or choice in drink.
This comparison explains drink machine etiquette better and more clearly than most analogies. Therefore, the female at the food court who scowled at me was way out of line. So, take this to heart and do a service to everyone behind you at the next fast-food restaurant: make your move when you see the opportunity. Or, if you’re the first “to bat,” then give the person behind you some room to get the drink on either side of you if he or she so chooses. It will make for a more enjoyable experience for everyone in the restaurant. I just hope inconsiderate drink-girl at the cafeteria reads this and changes her behavior. Perhaps even apologizes the next time we meet at the fountain machine.
Also to be noted, if the person in front of you is going for Sweet Tea and you want something else, then you two as a team have just hit a virtual drink machine home run. JACKPOT! Put it on the board, and relish in the moment. Is relish the right word there?
By the way, don’t ever try to load the bases unless you are sure the drink machine is wide enough to fully support that kind of usage.
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